waiter: ready for the check?
customer: as a male feminist who loves eating pussy, yes that would be great
do you ever just kinda wonder what your selling point as a human being or friend is? like, what was the point at which people were like: hey, I’ll keep this human
The boat’s water is pretty much shut off for no reason so we’ve been housing 2 to 3 extra sailors every night, guys who live on the boat and not in barracks, and it’s great because they eat so much ship food any bullshit I throw together for dinner gets praised like its gourmet